Red : Topic Sentence
Blue : Concluding
Sentence
PALANGKARAYA CITY
One of the place to visit in Central Kalimantan is
Palangkaraya City. It has some of the interesting place and beautiful
city. There are many forest such as Nyaru Menteng and and the others. in
Palangakaraya has monument Tugu Soekarno
which is there one of the place to business such as palm-coconut,
Palangkaraya has Dayak culture, such as Dayak dance, example Manasai dance,
Giring-Giring, and and the others. in Palangkaraya any special food such as
Umbut Juhu Kalakai, Saluang fish, and the others. In Palangkaraya has many
famous hotel, such as Danum Hotel, Aquarius Boutique Hotel, Global Hotel, and
the others. Finally Palangkaraya has Kahayan Bridge. Palangkara
is interesting place to visit because there is still hidden beauty that still
unknown yet by local and outside people in the world.
Munawarah I think your paragraph is good, but :
BalasHapus1. Your paragraph is not unity, like :
Look sentence two . “It has some of the interesting place and beautiful city”. There is explain about Palangkaraya has interesting place right ? but look at sentence three “There are many forest such as Nyaru Menteng and the other”. Yes we are know Palangkaraya has many forest but you not explain interesting of the forest like Nyaru Menteng and the others.Thats make the sentence is not unity. You can make the sentence like “The fisrt, Nyaru Menteng in there we can enjoy the view with a calm”.
2. In sentence five and six“ Palangkaraya has Dayak culture, such as Dayak dance, example Manasai dance, Giring-Giring, and and the others.in Palangkaraya any special food such as Umbut Juhu Kalakai, Saluang fish, and the others”.its also not unity . if you wanna you can add word like “It has some of the interesting place,culture , food, and beautiful city” in the second sentence.
3. You must change Capital letters every using point. Cos its in the first word at four and six sentence.
4. You must re-read your writing and edit before your publish, cause many world that are less like the last sentence “Palangkara”.
Its your paragraph already by me
One of the place to visit in Central Kalimantan is Palangkaraya City. It has some of the interesting place, food, culture and beautiful city. First, Nyaru Menteng in there we can enjoy the view with a calm. Second, Palangkaraya has monument Tugu Soekarno which is there one of the place to business such as palm-coconut. Third, Palangkaraya has Dayak culture, such as Dayak dance, example Manasai dance, Giring-Giring, and and the others. Fourth, Palangkaraya has any special food such as Umbut Juhu Kalakai, Saluang fish, and the others. Five, In Palangkaraya has many famous hotel, such as Danum Hotel, Aquarius Boutique Hotel, Global Hotel, and the others. Finally Palangkaraya has Kahayan Bridge, from The kahayan Bridge we can enjoy the view and the beauty of city at kahayan river . Conclud Palangkaraya is interesting place to visit because there is still hidden beauty that still unknown yet by local and outside people in the world.
And last ,in the sentence two its say “It has some of the interesting place and beautiful city” But i didn’t read the sentence is explain why Palangkaraya is beautiful city. Can you add about that :D
I think enough, and I hope my coment is can make your writing to be better than before . ;;)
i think your paragraph good but,
BalasHapusif you want explain you can choose between interesting place or beautiful city or you can write " it has some the interest place and beautiful places" / "it has some great place " / " it has some interesting places" and then you can write " there are tourist spots such as nyaru menteng, and ( bla bla bla). or you give a little explanation about it.
Next " in Palangakaraya has monument Tugu Soekarno which is there one of the place to business such as palm-coconut" if you write like this it will make difference in meaning . it means tugu sukarno place for business palm coconut. you can write " there is tugu sukarno" and you can give a little explanation about it.
" Palangkaraya has Dayak culture, such as Dayak dance, example Manasai dance, Giring-Giring, and and the others. in Palangkaraya any special food such as Umbut Juhu Kalakai, Saluang fish, and the others " it can be better if you write like this " palangkaraya has some characteristics of the dayak culture. such dance there are giring-giring dance, manasai dance , mandau dance, etc. there are typical food such as juhu kalakai, umbut, fried saluang ,etc.
"In Palangkaraya has many famous hotel, such as Danum Hotel, Aquarius Boutique Hotel, Global Hotel, and the others. Finally Palangkaraya has Kahayan Bridge". this sentence you can put in sentence interesting places .
i think only that for correction . don't forget to edit the text before publication.
1.In your paragraph there is no time order signals like first,second, than,now,next,and etc than you should used time signal orders for example "first, there are many forest such as Nyaru Menteng and and the others".
BalasHapus2.In my opinion in your paragraph there is no supporting sentence,so you should used it for example "finally,in Palangkaraya has many famous hotel.There are the names of famous hotel such as Danum Hotel, Aquarius Boutique Hotel, Global Hotel, and the others".