Selasa, 05 Januari 2016

Second Draft



Name  : Munawarah
RSN : 1401120943

Red: Topic Sentece
Black : Supporting Sentence
Blue: Concluding Sentece



Tiwah Ceremony
      One of popular custom in central kalimantan is tiwah caremony. Tiwah ceremony is an dayak event. First tiwah a delivery ceremony held for the bones of the dead to sandung already made. Second tiwah ceremony is a ceremony that is usually held over the death of someone who has died and buried a long time until the remaining of the body was estimated to only live crumbs. Third tiwah ritual intended as a ritual to drive off spirit straighten concerned towards Lewu Tatau (Heaven) so they can live peacefully and peaceful in nature the power, additionally tiwah dayak is also intended by the people in central kalimantan as the procession dayak to remove rutas or misfortune to the family of the deceased who left behind the bad influences that befall. Finally tiwah ceremony is not an easy job, required long and complicated preparation and funding not less. In addition, a series of tiwah procession itself takes up to several days nonstop, even up to one month old. In conclusion this ritual has been carried on since hundreds of years ago and it’s a traditional indonesian custom  to be preserved.

Sandung :  is a sort of a small house that is made specifically for those who have died
Dayak : Dayak is one of the tribles in central kalimantan
Tiwah : Tiwah a delivery ceremony held for the bones of the dead to Sandung already made
Lewu Tatau :  is a place or condition of  humans who always missed after her death
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4 komentar:

  1. Unknown6 Januari 2016 pukul 20.07

    Munaw , I think your paragraph is good. It is simple sentence with specifics information and definitions. But, I want to gives you some suggestions in your writing paragraph :) Please follos my comments Mun :)
    1.Topic sentence there is correctly.
    2.In supporting sentences you already use in accordance with the signal words and sentences there . Explained the definition and provide information that is important .
    3. Concluding sentence already contains a topic sentence and supporting sentence but in your concluding sentence so many strange words. It's not sufficiently.
    4. Your paragraph is little bit Unity
    Happy Writing Munaw :)

    BalasHapus
  2. cipa6 Januari 2016 pukul 23.13

    1. I think the topic sentence is correctly.
    2. In supporting sentence you i find the error sentence. you must check the grammar. but supporting sentence is coherence with the topic sentence. i think it is sufficiently
    3. In concluding sentence you concise be clearly its good

    BalasHapus
  3. cipa6 Januari 2016 pukul 23.58

    muna you use signal but is make your sentence error. i think you can use the first or the second. not first and and others

    BalasHapus
  4. Unknown7 Januari 2016 pukul 05.52

    i think your paragraph is good. in topic sentence is perfect and concluding don't have problem and good. in supporting sentence you use transitional signal and i agree with tifah comment transition signal make your sentence error and you can change the first, etc and your paragraph unity and coheren.

    BalasHapus

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